Wednesday, August 22, 2007

$$$ Money is so fun! $$$

So, I am still trying to get use to this whole blog thing. My life is pretty lame, so I just collect funny things that I find on the ground and put them in a pile and I'll eventually post them. In the mean time I took this lenghy waste of time quiz. Maybe I was lookinng for validation, like when you read a horiscope and you don't really believe it but you feel better if it says good things will happen to you. I think I'm worth more, and I'd probably cost my owner more in upkeep so beware. I'm very expensive.
I am worth $3,484,290 on
How much are you worth?

Monday, August 6, 2007

Treasure $#*%!

I found this treasure on the ground today outside the Salt Lake City Public Library. Why are there always so many crazies there? I even saw a man inside with a cigar in his mouth. Wasn't lit, but he was still walking around with it in his mouth. This card makes me laugh. I am so going to make copies of this and start handing them out to people at random. I'll probably go to hell for being amused by it. And if I do, I'm sure Satan and I will will have a grand time drinking Jack and Coke by the fire.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Attention Citizens! Consider Yourselves Warned

I went out for my usual late night snack because I couldn't resist the thought of stuffing my face with something from Wendy's Super Value Menu to go along with my Frosty Dairy Desert. I thought' "Oh a Caesar Salad sounds nice, it won't make me feel like I ate ten pounds of butter." Then I ordered it, got home, stared at it and for no particular reason started scanning the ingredients on the Caesar dressing package. Did you know that there are ANCHOVIES! in Caesar dressing? Yes, those disgusting little creatures that we always see on Pizza in movies and thought we would never eat. No gives, No Thank you, No Gracias! Well I have news for you, most of us have probably eaten ANCHOVIES! I bet there are vegetarians out there who don't even know this. I hope they don't burst into flames upon reading this, but it is the truth. And possibly an act of terrorism, because I am terrified of what else I may be eating unknowingly. Shouldn't the packaging have a giant red call-out on the front that says, I dunno, "This product contains ANCHOVIES!"??? So please if you want to stop this kind of ludicrous behavior write to your senator, go to town meetings, stand together and unite to make sure that we are properly warned about this type of thing. Let Erin Brockovitch be your example. When she found ANCHOVIES! (or something probably similar) in the water, she did something about it. Also, my apologies go out to my sister, Amanda, for all the years that we fed her Tuna Fish and told her that it was Chicken.
In other strange food news take this survey. Kinda freaks me out. I got most of the answers wrong because my motto is, "When in doubt, throw it out!" Don't worry citizens, I found the greatest invention. It smells your food to tell you if it is still fresh. I am so investing in one of these. I will be the envy of every Martha Stewart of the future.