Friday, July 27, 2007

Popping my BLOG cherry

BLOG. What a funny word. If Blog were a person, his name would fit in well with Clyde and Clod and Fred. They would probably play four-square together, tell non-funny jokes in science class, and be picked on by their peers. Hopefully this blog will have more sex-appeal than his name would suggest and he will rise to be the coolest kid around.

I'm starting this purely out of boredom while I pretend to "work", that and to keep the paparazzi at bay by keeping the public aware of my every move and thought. My life is SO interesting. If celebrities are just like me, then I suppose that I am just like them. We both wear designer jeans and order take-out. SAME.

I wanted the name of my blog to be zacharoo or sharky. Sadly both were taken by less ambitious bloggers. This blog may have the same fate with a single entry, but keep your fingers crossed for at least 10 laughable entries. In a shocking act of fate my middle name was an available option. Yes, ladies, gentleman, hermaphrodites, and non-gendered people alike, that is my real-life middle name. It is Hopi, as in the Native American Tribe. Legend has it I started life as a feral child only to be taken in my Hopi Indians some time later. I spent my years on Arizona's Mohave Indian Reservation cultivating my artistic sand painting, hunting, and rain dancing skills. As a former feral child, I was never able to justify hunting and the Tribe eventually decided it was my time to leave. They sold me to Rick and Marcy in exchange for a dead bald eagle that Rick "found" on a road trip to Arizona. I'm sure they made it into an amazing headdress and the Albrechts called this exchange an adoption. To honor my heritage they kept Dukepoo (pronounced duke-uh-poo) as my middle name. Don't worry, I've heard all the jokes and they are about as hilarious and clever as a 2nd grade comedian telling bathroom jokes. Dukepoo really means medicine bag. It is the prized posession of the healer of the tribe. I generally tell people that it means healer of the tribe because I want to keep my secret remedies and drugs to myself as not to reveal all of the sacred Hopi rituals to the world. Well blog, you shall be known by the name of Dukepoo. Please remember to always be awesome, entertaining, and funny... but not the kind of funny like watching a drunk Indian dance around a camp fire. You might get burnt.