When I grow up I want to be a...

Salt Lake has some of the greatest finds. The downtown library is the best for this. Look at the ground. If you see a piece of paper that resembles trash then pick it up. You will find treasure more often than you think. These are two of my latest finds and I can't wait until I have a business card of my own to hand out or drop on the ground. What should it say? How much information should I put on it? Where do I get it printed on slick black paper with gold embossing? It looks very expensive. Very elegant. Very fancy. Very very. How do I get an exclamation point behind my job title? Do I need a Ph.D. or can anyone have an exclamation point on their business card?

P.S. For an added giggle or to find the love of your life please visit http://www.chooseromance.com/ and please do not forget to click on the about Gayle tab. I definitely want her sitting around the corner on a awkward lunch date jotting notes and pretending like she isn't listening in.

All Dogs Go To Heaven

I love the Lone Peak Press and their journalistic integrity to only bring us the hard hitting news of Highland, Alpine & Cedar Hills. If it isn't the Cox/Dickson Wedding or an article about the Husband and Wife Intimacy Center that just opened then it is this: a canine clergyman. No really, he officiates weddings in Highland and you too can have your pets' nuptials officiated by the illustrious Reverend Tyker. If you are interested, please visit his website and you MUST SEND ME AN INVITE!!! Apparently anyone can become a minister online with a little help from The Universal Life Church. Even dogs. If you so choose to take this calling of ministry in life please heed the advise and warnings posted on their website, my favorite:

"Please only ordain others with their permission. This includes public figures as well as cartoon and other fictional characters."

This is serious business that could be met with some confusion at the pearly .com gates as I once had a seminary teacher and a dog named Charlie Brown.

Treasure $#*%!

I found this treasure on the ground today outside the Salt Lake City Public Library. Why are there always so many crazies there? I even saw a man inside with a cigar in his mouth. Wasn't lit, but he was still walking around with it in his mouth. This card makes me laugh. I am so going to make copies of this and start handing them out to people at random. I'll probably go to hell for being amused by it. And if I do, I'm sure Satan and I will will have a grand time drinking Jack and Coke by the fire.